Parsnip by Bun & Birb, Digital Poppy
This game. I have so much to say about it this might almost be like a real critic review. I have never seen a game so dedicated to the fine art of annoying the player. From the first moments of entering the game I foolishly decided to close the tutorial help screen without reading it, assuming i could get through the game on my own. However, you need to press SPACE or the SCROLL BUTTON on your mouse to open your INVENTORY. I pressed ESCAPE and it just immediately closed the game. A very nice touch. Everything about this game is annoying. The very slow gameplay, the absolute silence of the world except for the loud scribbling noises when the to-do list updates, the frustrating control layout which cannot be changed, the piss poor grammar, the bird’s misused Shakespearean English, the extremely long and ultimately unnecessary dialogue, Parsnip’s goose chase for cake ingredients, and his stupid little slow prancing walk. He prancercises everywhere. And possibly the most frustrating part is that we don’t actually get any backstory or fulfillment on the OTHER story that took place in the background of this damn game. It’s just Parsnip running around and then two very interesting and completely unexplained “where are they now” segments. I personally like ending the game by eating the whole cake myself, and hopefully if you’ve played the game you’ll know why.